Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is simply the ability to manage your emotions and that of others. It encompasses the awareness of emotions, harnessing them and applying them to tasks and problem solving. People with emotional intelligence find it easier to form and maintain interpersonal relationships. They are better at recognizing and understanding their mental state with personal and social skills or competencies.

Being sensitive to other people’s feelings is an important part of being a leader. Your team matters to you and you want to make sure that you get them to perform tasks in the way they are able to. See a few emotional intelligence tips that help you become a better leader:

Be a manager

You need to be self-aware, it helps you to understand your feelings and how they affect others so you know when to adjust accordingly. You need to learn how to manage people; a manager is resilient and able to keep adequate control of heightened situations. You want to be someone that people can look up to in a moment of crisis because; they know you can handle it. A good manager focuses on their long term goals regardless of whatever stumbling blocks they might meet along the way.

In the same vein, emotional intelligence requires you as a manager to have empathy towards others. You need to understand their feelings and perspectives, which helps you to look at various things objectively. It is a learned skill, so try to regulate your actions along the way to benefit yourself and others emotionally.

Read more

Pick up random books and read about different things. It creates a feeling of having a conversation with people whose IQ are high; maybe even higher than yours. Make efforts to engage in discussions with people who inspire you. It really is simple – just read.

Actively listen

This is not an innate ability, but you will have to learn it to be emotionally intelligent. Consciously listen to other people’s grievances and issues, without waiting for them to finish so you can talk. It takes a lot of willpower and hard work to see things through other people’s eyes but when you do, things get better. Listening actively also allows for positive results like compassion and empathy.

Learn from mistakes

Nobody is perfect, so don’t be hard on yourself when you make mistakes. Simply learn from them. You might have misconstrued something your subordinate said and reacted adversely to it when they hadn’t meant it in the way you have interpreted it. It is very crucial that you do not forget to learn from these missteps as a second occurrence shows a lack of empathy towards the other person. Write down your mistakes, figure out what you did wrong, what could make it better and learn from it.

Lifelong learning

Do not stop learning. The digital market is filled with resources available from anywhere you choose, use them. Do you have new challenges? Were there certain issues in the work place you wished you had handled better? What better ways are there to react to certain happenings? You could also visit our page to book a session. Research these topics for the slightest knowledge about them. The internet remains everyone’s learning environment.

Proper Communication (For The Workplace)

In a world as social as ours, communication is more than just messages. It’s about perception, interpretation and ultimately a cogent ingredient for lasting relationships. There is the need to present messages in an unadulterated, undistorted way for the benefit of the end user. It pans across a host of industries and can mean/be used for different things in different situations.

It’s about expressions, mode of dressing, verbal exchanges, press releases, advertisements, choice of words, etc. Communication in the workplace is crucial to the survival of your role. Miscommunication can lead to arguments and blame games, so you want to be able to interpret tasks in the way that you can produce the intended results, sometimes even better.

To improve communication, see a few tips that can be applied to your workplace practice:

Context and content of the message

Try to understand the context and content of the message. Is it precise? If you find yourself saying “I think I’m supposed to…”, then you need clarification on the actual aim of the message and how you are to tackle it. Make sure you are always clear on what to do so as to avoid any form of back-and-forth. Pay attention to details and listen attentively for what is required of you.

If you need to ask questions based on your understanding of the message, ask them. If you have middlemen in between the process in which you go the message, ensure you clarify from the real source. It’s likely possible your message has been distorted.


Sometimes, you find out that the medium through which a message has been passed to you plays a vital role in its interpretation. There are different mediums through which tasks could be assigned in the workplace and they can be formal or informal. The formality that naturally accompanies e-mails could pose the task in a more heightened light than that which has been sent through the office chat system. You need to be able to look out for pointers like these to decide your approach to execution.

Have physical conversations

Maybe have physical conversations sometimes than sending an email? When things are written down, the receiver is most likely left with the ability to choose what tone the message is carrying. If you are sending something really formal, why not have a conversation with the receiver, briefing them about the task and informing them ahead of time to expect a transcript? Sometimes e-mails sent in the workplace are always perceived wrongly – which is socially bad for teams.

Respect diversity

A workplace always swoons with people of different make ups. Their views and values are extremely different and so, the manner in which messages will be passed to them should be weighed through the same scale(s). You want to represent people’s beliefs and culture in a way that doesn’t feel discriminating or demeaning. Even the same words would sometimes have a different meaning to them than they will to you, so ensure you accord them the respect they deserve regardless of how different they are.

Delete your emotions

Especially when you are the receiver. If things go south because of a certain message, your emotions won’t matter because even if you are the executor, the sender owns the message and the intentions behind it. They have a mental picture of what the end result should be, so you should make sure to paint that picture for them in the way they have intended. Communication is usually underemphasized and barely taken seriously, but contributes greatly to an organization’s productivity when utilized well.

5 Tips on Building Self Confidence

5 tips on building self confidence

One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.” ~ Arthur Ashe

Self-confidence is an attractive trait; it is trusting in one’s skills, decisions, and characteristics. A good number of people strive to attain a certain level of self-confidence. It provides an avenue for you to maximise your potentials and showcase it. Self-confidence is essential in building and developing oneself as it is needed in almost all phases of life.

Self-Confidence is your attitude and viewpoint towards happenings either past, present or projected.  It is how you see yourself, how you behave towards yourself, the belief you have in your capabilities and the level of value you’ve placed on yourself. Self-confidence is expressed in how you speak, what you say and how you respond to certain situations.

How is self-confidence built?

It starts with your mind and your thoughts. Understand that you are valuable and that you are more than enough. Know yourself, understand your strengths and start to apply yourself. Below are five sure-fire ways of building long lasting self-confidence.

  • Self-Knowledge is Key

Know thyself. Be self-aware, understand and analyse your strengths and weaknesses. Carry out deep reflections; find out what motivates you, what you fear, and your belief system. Review your attitude and responses to your career, your social life and your personal relationships. 

Stay true to yourself because self-deceit is damaging to personal development. You can start writing about yourself, major highlights in your life. This helps you feel in control as you are more aware of what is happening in and around you and you can choose how to react to them.

  • Become Skilled

Find what you are passionate about; it might be multiple things but start with the one you are most passionate about and start to train yourself. Get professional training if necessary, practice constantly and sharpen your skills. It is okay to make mistakes during the process.

The more you practice, the better you become and this helps you be more confident. You also start to accomplish small wins which also reinforces your trust in your abilities and increases your self-confidence.  Doing something you really like makes the process fun and with each milestone you conquer, you become proud of yourself and have total belief in your abilities.

As you get better in a chosen area, start to look at other areas you are interested in and repeat the training cycle.

  •  Motivate Yourself

Push yourself! There’s a high chance of relaxing and resting on your oars once you start to accomplish small wins and you’re getting recognised for your work. Don’t get lost in the moment, plan for the future and continually put in the work. Don’t allow complacency to find its way in, looks for ways to be better, be innovative, chart new territories and let the comfort zone be far from you.

Affirm yourself daily, say positive words to yourself, look for/at the bright side of things, be  proud of your work and let your imaginations project positive. Set goals for yourself, personal goals and career goals and plan the processes and steps you need to take to achieve those goals. Let your plans be time bound so you can have a sense of responsibility and it’s easier to motivate yourself when you have deadlines. Doing what you love is also a good way to naturally motivate yourself.

  • Stand Up to your Fears

Once fear kicks in, the resultant effect can be crippling especially for someone who is still finding his/her feet. Fear can come in many forms; it can come through procrastination, through self-doubt, or through external pressure. Fear can cause a stall in progress which may have a multiplying effect on your confidence and personality.

Face your fears head on and be courageous and as written earlier, constantly affirm yourself and build up a brave attitude (brave for the right reasons). Don’t postpone facing your fears, deal with it and move on from it. Also set small short-term goals that are easy to achieve while preparing for the big ones.

  • Focus on the good

Surround yourself with positives. Think positive thoughts, socialise with optimistic people, read motivational books, listen to affirmative messages. Whatever you take in is what you would dish out and as the popular saying goes “you can’t give what you don’t have”.  Watch what you feed yourself. 

Engage in mentally stimulating exercises, play games, engage in sports, socialise and generally have fun. Also when you have low moments and negative thoughts are creeping in, think about your high points, your wins; both major and minor, interesting moments that brought happiness and laughter.

Assertiveness and Attitude

Good interpersonal skills require that you know the different means in which you can communicate and what sorts of responses your methods could ignite. Using passive or aggressive behavior in these relationships can have unfavorable consequences for both parties involved, which would create stumbling blocks in the path of positivity.

Being assertive helps to send your message across in a clear manner; taking the other person’s feelings into consideration. Telling people what to do rather than asking shows a lack of assertiveness and this will only cause a dent in exchanges.

Interaction is a two-way process and your attitude towards situations may differ depending on the other person. Here are ways to try assertiveness:

Manage Responses

Choose your attitude. Assertiveness is considered a balanced behavior and as such, you can choose the balance between passivity and aggressiveness. Not everyone can be assertive in every situation, especially when you’re trying to stand by your conviction firmly. There’s always the avenue to be passive or aggressive in communication, but emotional intelligence could help to balance the lever enough for you to be assertive. Try to express your thoughts and feelings in an honest, straightforward and correct way.

Be Attentive

Listen to the other person. Assertiveness involves other people’s feelings and as such, you should too. When you want to respond to them, make your thoughts known in a completely clear and honest way. Let them feel like you appreciate their thoughts and concerns and that you are giving them the space to understand your point as well. Also listen to the opinion of others, take advices that you think are good and gently reject the ones you think are not. When you listen well, you catch details that form people’s opinions or feelings and are able to deal with them accordingly in a non-aggressive manner.

Ownership and Accountability

Do not allow others to impose their orders on you if they are the kinds that go against your principles. However, whatever actions you end up taking should be one which you can own and be accountable for. You are responsible for your own actions. That’s part of being assertive – you are not blaming anyone for the failure of your results, just as much as you won’t really give someone else credit for your success. Avoid getting manipulated or offended by aggressive people.


It is the ultimate thing you can do to be assertive. Be clear. Be concise and precise. Defend your views and feelings firmly and articulately, such that you don’t come off as aggressive. Avoid getting anxious while doing this; it often affects your delivery while communicating. Confidence is the only thing that goes really well with assertiveness asides its actual nature of clarity.

Give Compliments

Rather than shooting people’s points down, give compliments if you feel they have done really well. Even if they haven’t, compliment their efforts and explain what you thought of their work, offering to help in finding solutions or making it better. Appreciate their achievements; they have worked hard to attain them. Assertiveness is an attitude towards success and that should reflect in the way you handle things. Have a fantastic knowledge of emotional grip and control, being assertive solves issues easily and effectively.